(Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt was for a fan letter, and I knew just the film.)


Dear Mr. Lucas,
I thought I would write you a letter to say
That my miserable life was fulfilled on the day
That I first saw that brilliant creation of yours:
That glorious franchise you christened Star Wars.

I know every line, every creature and place.
I can name every extra-terrestrial face.
I love Figrin D’an, who played in Mos Eisley,
And ol’ Ponda Baba, who didn’t choose wisely,
And Porkins and Bossk and Salacious B. Crumb.
I know them all more than I know my own thumb.

In details and lore, I am masterfully versed,
And though you deny, I know Solo shot first.
I know set design secrets and last-minute edits
And every last name that goes by in the credits.
I quote every movie by heart easily;
I even like Episodes I, II, and III.

You must see that I am a passionate fan
Of the greatest of tales in the annals of man.
The Force is with me, as I know it’s with you,
So I ask only one little favor to do.
Would you cancel that order, as if I’m a threat,
That needlessly dictates how close I can get?

MPAA rating: PG-13

I’m not quite as big a Star Wars fan as the poem indicates, but I love it enough to enjoy a good comedy about it. Fanboys isn’t it. What could have been an enjoyable road movie poking fun at obsessive fan bases turned out to be a crude and unflattering dud.

When four sophomoric fans learn that one of their own will die of cancer before the release of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, they decide to travel to Skywalker Ranch and steal a copy of the film. Some of the jokes aimed at Star Wars are actually funny, but the rest languish in awkward silliness. Should I laugh at an Ewok humping someone’s leg? One running gag is the feud between fans of Star Wars and Star Trek, which is ramped up to ridiculous levels. (I’ve never really understood the rivalry there, since I like both franchises.) Ultimately, the best thing about Fanboys is some unexpected cameos.

Aside from much of the film just not being funny, its treatment of fans is actually rather insulting. The group of friends includes mostly immature nerds of the type who have no experience with the opposite gender. Their pathetic antics are rather desperate, and eventually fanboys are literally equated with sex-starved bums. Weren’t the filmmakers actually targeting Star Wars fans as their audience? I’m sure they didn’t mean all fans are like that, but the characterization remains. Fanboys has a decent concept but poor execution, so for a good fan-related comedy, watch Galaxy Quest instead.

Best line: (Zoe, as someone is talking to George Lucas on the phone) “I can hear his beard!”


Rank: Dishonorable Mention


© 2016 S. G. Liput

373 Followers and Counting