Nine to Five (1980)

Tags

Comedy

Miss Judy Bernly, a wronged divorcee,

Is starting her job in an office today.

So Violet Newstead, who has worked there for years,

Shows Judy the ropes and deepens her fears.

She also is met by her boss Franklin Hart,

Who isn’t as nice as he seems at the start.

 

He yells at mistakes and he fires for trifles,

And all innovations he’s eager to stifle,

Except for the ones that he feels can be shown

To his boss, which he then passes off as his own.

He chases his well-endowed aide Doralee,

And, though she resists, sordid rumors roam free.

 

On a day when their boss is especially vile,

The three women leave to get drunk for a while.

Since Violet has pot, they all share it three ways,

And dream how they’d like to make Mr. Hart pay.

Shy Judy would hunt him, Doralee would hog-tie him,

And Violet would poison and gladly defy him.

 

The next day, when Hart hits his head, needing care,

Violet thinks that she may have indeed put him there.

She put poison, not sugar, in Mr. Hart’s drink,

And now he is dead, or at least so they think.

They steal the wrong body and wig out a bit,

But Hart’s fine the next day, until they admit,

 

In the bathroom, what happened, and Hart then is told.

Their “murderous plot” he will gladly withhold

From police, if Miss Doralee comes out and plays,

But all three have had it with Hart’s heartless ways.

Their visions come true, as they tie up the jerk,

And bind him at home to restrain him from work.

 

Their actions so far were impulsive and flawed,

Till they find evidence that Hart’s knee-deep in fraud.

They keep him imprisoned beneath his own roof

For multiple weeks while they wait for their proof.

The three, in the meantime, change things in Hart’s name:

A day care, job sharing, a whole lot less blame.

 

When Hart’s wife sets him free, their whole plan’s all but failed.

He hides his fraud well and cannot be blackmailed.

Back in at the office, Hart’s frightened and floored

When he gets a rare visit from the chair of the board.

He likes the new office and thinks that Hart led it,

So Hart once again gets the blame – I mean, credit.

 

Hart gets a promotion, against his own will,

A job in the jungle somewhere in Brazil.

The girls are ecstatic; the office is free,

And all (except Hart) live and work happily.

______________________

 

Nine to Five is a workplace comedy that feels familiar in many ways. It combines the underdog-vs-boss storyline of Working Girl with the musical getting-ready opening scenes and the overwhelmed newbie coming into her own from The Devil Wears Prada. It has a predatory bathroom scene like that in Witness. The snitch Roz reminds me, for all the world, of Randall/Ms. Finster from the cartoon Recess, constantly reporting to Principal Prickly (coincidentally voiced by Dabney Coleman, who played Mr. Hart). Yet Nine to Five was released in 1980, long before any of these examples.

It is funny throughout, but the stand-out scenes are the girl’s fantasies of getting rid of their boss, which can’t help but elicit cheers, laughs, and serves-you-rights. Violet’s dream even combines live action and animation, acting as a connection between Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

There are some negatives, though, mainly the surprising amount of profanity for a PG-rated movie. Not being a fan of the pot revolution, I also don’t care for the cause of the women’s murderous reveries: a shared joint, which is presented as a guilty pleasure with no consequences rather than a vice or an addiction. Still, except for these, it’s a girl power comedy that should appeal to anyone who has ever had a horrible boss. You can also add Dolly Parton’s Oscar-nominated song “9 to 5” to my End Credits Song Hall of Fame.

Best line: (in Dolly Parton’s dream of vengeance) “Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Whoa, she’s already got him! Now, let’s see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Five seconds! Just five seconds!”

 

Artistry: 4

Characters/Actors: 6

Entertainment: 8

Visual Effects: 5

Originality: 7

Watchability: 6

Other (language and drugs): -7

 

TOTAL: 29 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #334: An Extremely Goofy Movie

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Perfect Storm (2000)

Tags

Action, Drama

The sea’s fed and fostered the brave men of Gloucester,

Who sail out to harvest its plenty,

But the ocean has claimed several thousand strong names

And has left many families empty.

 

They’re stories worth telling, both sad and compelling,

But there’s one that stands out as a tale.

Six seamen were drowned and their bodies not found

In the wreck of the Andrea Gail.

 

Ol’ Captain Bill Tyne is not like a fine wine,

Bringing in less and less as he ages.

All his friends say too much that he’s losing his touch,

And his crew isn’t keen on their wages.

 

So both Tyne and his men plan to set out again:

Bobby Shatford, whose girl tends to worry,

Murph and Sully are there, as is Alfred Pierre,

And, with Bugsy, they leave in a hurry.

 

Their efforts don’t fly, and their tensions run high,

As a shark, then an accident spooks them.

Sully saves Murphy’s life, though he stole Murphy’s wife.

When they want to turn back, Tyne rebukes them.

 

They almost leave the map for the famed Flemish Cap,

Where both swordfish and jeopardy flourish.

As their fortunes emerge, three storm systems converge

And on warm Gulf Stream waters are nourished.

 

The swordfish abound; the ice maker breaks down,

So they must make a choice now together:

Let the fruit of their toil just sit out and spoil

Or attempt to sail home through the weather.

 

Wishing no more to roam, they decide to head home,

And the hurricane soon crashes around them.

They drive through the night, and yet, try though they might,

By morning, the tempest has drowned them.

 

Their friends grieve together, will miss them forever,

Will honor their fruitless travail.

Their memory survives, though they all lost their lives

In the wreck of the Andrea Gail.

______________________

 

The Perfect Storm is a disaster film that, while not as cataclysmic as many other such movies, focuses on the main six lives that were lost when the Andrea Gail sank below the Atlantic. While these six men are all flawed, they seem genuine in their actions and relationships (though Bugsy’s appeal to that single mother is inexplicable), and the eulogy at the end is truly touching. However, The Perfect Storm, like Witness, also lovingly presents a way of life that seems foreign to outsiders like me. While I would not want to be part of that world of sailing and fishing, I can still admire the unsung heroes who work so hard to bring in fish that most of us take for granted.

It’s not a perfect disaster film, in part because it tries too hard to show the extent of the disaster. My poem makes no mention of the three-person crew of the Mistral or the Air National Guard helicopter that comes to rescue them. These scenes present how the storm affected more than just the Andrea Gail, but they also distract from the six people that are otherwise the center of the movie. The Coast Guard scenes drag on a bit too long, and I can’t help but feel that they were added just to make the film longer. This, plus the strong sexual innuendo and frequent language that are probably not as bad as on most sailing vessels, detracts from what is otherwise a film with great acting and special effects. It’s just a shame that those men lost their lives just trying to make a living.

P.S. Try reading the poem to the cadence of Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Best line: “I’ll be asleep, and all the sudden there he is, that big smile. You know that smile. And I say, ‘Hey, Bobby – where you been?’ but he won’t tell me. He just smiles and says, ‘Remember, Christina: I’ll always love you; I loved you the moment I saw you; I love you now; and I love you forever. There’s no goodbyes – there’s only love, Christina; only love.’ Then he’s gone. But he’s always happy when he goes so I know he’s got to be okay – absolutely okay.”

 

Artistry: 5

Characters/Actors: 7

Entertainment: 6

Visual Effects: 8

Originality: 5

Watchability: 5

Other (innuendo and language): -7

 

TOTAL: 29 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #335 – 9 to 5

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Psycho (1960)

Tags

Drama, Hitchcock, Horror, Thriller

Marion Crane is in love with a man

But has not the money to wed her dear Sam.

So, after a tryst, she endeavors to scram

 

With 40K trusted to her by her boss.

She leaves town before he’s aware of the loss.

While driving, her mind starts to worry and toss.

Her guilt soon becomes an unbearable cross,

 

So she stops for the night at the old Bates Motel.

The young Norman Bates, who can scare or compel,

Checks Marion in to the lodging from hell.

They chat, and he shows her her quarters as well.

 

He tells her his mother is mentally ill.

That night, in the shower, Miss Crane’s cries are shrill

As a figure appears with a knife meant to kill.

When Norman arrives, Miss Crane’s body is still.

 

So both her and her car, Norman sinks in a lake.

Soon, Marion’s sought for her stolen loot’s sake.

Sam and Lila, her sister, think there’s a mistake;

It’s hard to believe she would lie, steal, or take,

 

So she’s being searched for by the sleuth Arbogast.

He finds the motel, where he thinks she was last,

And Norman is spooked by the questions he’s asked.

It seems that he feels he is being harassed.

 

The detective sneaks into Bates’ home, but is slain.

Then Lila and Sam, who grow close in their pain,

Go also in search of poor Marion Crane.

While Sam distracts Norman, who seems less than sane,

 

Young Lila goes into Bates’ house with aplomb.

The tension builds up like a volatile bomb.

She goes in the basement and loses her calm

When she locates the dead corpse of Norman Bates’ mom!

 

Then Bates, dressed as mother, attacks with a knife,

But, lucky for her, valiant Sam saves her life.

A doctor tells them Norman’s internal strife,

 

The death of his mother, which Norman had done,

The messed-up relationship of mom and son,

 

Caused Norman to take on her psyche and traits

And murder, believing he was Norma Bates.

But, now that he’s stopped, an asylum awaits.

___________________

 

Psycho was the new height of violence and shock value when it was released in 1960. While the “surprise” ending is almost as well-known and unsurprising as Darth Vader’s I-am-your-father revelation, this Alfred Hitchcock masterpiece is still as creepy as ever, and the shower scene still just as traumatic.

I haven’t seen many Hitchcock movies, and what I have seen (Notorious, North by Northwest) hasn’t really impressed me. Yet Psycho is not a mostly boring spy yarn but the original slasher film, which, unlike more recent examples, is restrained enough in its violence to still be watchable. Buoyed by unique camera shots that cleverly hide Norman’s schizophrenic secret and an amazingly evil performance by Anthony Perkins, Psycho manages to retain Hitchcock’s artistic touch while still delivering the horrors in which he so reveled. What is it about playing psychopathic killers that brings out the best in an actor, from Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs to Kathy Bates in Misery? Whatever it is, Perkins is certainly the best part of the whole movie.

Best line: (Norman, while in custody at the very end) “I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, she wouldn’t even harm a fly…” (one of the best evil grins ever)

Artistry: 7

Characters/Actors: 9

Entertainment: 4

Visual Effects: N/A

Originality: 6

Watchability: 3

 

TOTAL: 29 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #336: The Perfect Storm

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Summer Wars (2009)

Tags

Animation, Anime

On an Earth where an internet world known as OZ

Is used universally by the whole globe,

Each nation and person enjoys an account,

Including a man who controls a space probe.

 

But more on that later; right now, there’s a boy

In high school named Kenji, a timid math whiz,

Who visits the home of the great Jinnouchis

Because of one Natsuki, a classmate of his.

 

Her own great-grandmother’s about to turn ninety,

And so she’s devised a duplicitous ruse.

Her family thinks Kenji is her fiancée.

When she begs him to lie, Kenji cannot refuse.

 

He plays along with her and warily meets

Her quirky, extended, and loud family.

He’s quite overwhelmed, but at night he receives

A code-bearing e-mail and solves it deftly.

 

The next day, the news has him labeled a hacker;

They say that he broke into OZ’s mainframe.

When the family also sees through Natsuki’s lie,

They’re quick to reprove and give Kenji the blame.

 

But Kenji’s the prey of identity fraud;

A program of sorts has hijacked his account.

In the digital world, it reveals itself as

A renegade A.I. they cannot surmount.

 

Since everything, traffic lights, e-mail, and such,

Is routed through OZ, which was once thought secure,

The havoc the A.I. commits in that world

Reflects in our own planet’s infrastructure.

 

The A.I., called Love Machine, steals many more,

Several million accounts, and it gets ever stronger.

The Jinnouchi family tries to ignore

Its effects, but quite soon they cannot any longer.

 

For Granny, their matriarch who’s tough as nails,

Insists it’s a war that they all have to fight,

But, because OZ is down, they all realize too late

That she died of a heart attack late in the night.

 

The women want only to prep for her wake,

While the men crave revenge, so they work separately.

They move a plan forward to trap Love Machine,

But, because of a stupid mistake, it gets free.

 

Defeating King Kazma, an OZ fighting champ

Who belongs to a kid in the Jinnouchi clan,

The A.I. takes hold of a certain account

Controlling the space probe, as part of a plan.

 

It targets a nuclear power plant with it,

And starts a countdown for the terrible boom.

They have just two hours to get the account

That controls the space probe, or it means certain doom.

 

With the help of an uncle who made Love Machine

And whose claims of his innocence keep falling flat,

It’s Natsuki who challenges it to a match

Of Koi-Koi, a card game that she is good at.

 

By wagering OZ accounts, little by little,

They quickly win back all that Love Machine stole.

While failing the game though, it targets the probe

On the family’s home before losing control!

 

In the final few seconds, with math as his aid,

Young Kenji succeeds in diverting its course.

It misses (just barely), but, saving the day,

Kenji’s now a boyfriend that they all can endorse.

 

With Love Machine squelched and no longer a danger,

The uncle confesses and takes the results.

And, though they’ve lost Granny, they’re glad to have Kenji

As part of their home, so the family exults.

_____________________

 

Summer Wars is a Japanese animated movie that manages to be funny, sad, and exciting in a way that few anime films are, in my opinion. The best parts of the movie feature its wonderful endorsement of family, particularly forgiveness and facing the hard times together. Granny’s posthumous note to her relatives is particularly poignant and eloquent. While I didn’t know most of the Jinnouchis’ names by the end, the filmmakers did an excellent job at giving most of them a unique personality, much like in Meet the Robinsons.

Also fascinating is the film’s indictment of relying too much on technology. It is stated that usage of OZ is as pervasive as cell phone ownership, and people tend to use their accounts for business purposes, thinking that their information and identity are safe. The scenes where Love Machine does seemingly simple things in OZ, such as knocking over some dominoes, producing real-world havoc ranging from faulty fire alarms to confounding traffic, were particularly insightful. With Facebook, Twitter, and the like being so ubiquitous, the concept of OZ and its misuse seems very plausible. Also, the Madhouse animation, while not up to Studio Ghibli standards, is much improved over that of Millennium Actress eight years earlier.

However, there are two things that really bug me about Summer Wars. First of all, there is some adult content, including several (mostly light) obscenities and some scenes of near nudity. Also, I particularly don’t appreciate America being cast as the bad guy, since it is said the United States Department of Defense bought Love Machine from the uncle and were testing its abilities on OZ before the A.I. got out of hand. While I’m not saying such a thing couldn’t happen, the film paints the U.S. as being foolish and incompetent.

Despite these shortcomings, Summer Wars is very entertaining. Though a few moments in OZ devolve into something reminiscent of a Saturday morning cartoon (such as Digimon), it is nonetheless thought-provoking while also fusing fun and the importance of family.

Best line: (to Kenji, after he’s accused of hacking OZ) “Please tell me you didn’t break the Internet.”

 

Artistry: 5

Characters/Actors: 6

Entertainment: 7

Visual Effects: 6

Originality: 4

Watchability: 5

Other (adult content and anti-American subplot): -5

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #337: Psycho

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Gaslight (1944)

Tags

Drama, Thriller

In the foggy and dark London air,

There’s a horror at 9 Thornton Square:

A singer’s been strangled;

Her things are all tangled,

Yet all her possessions are there.

 

Her niece is one Paula Alquist,

Who is escorted out in the mist.

She is taken to dwell

And learn opera as well

With a maestro who’s glad to assist.

 

She meets Gregory, who composes.

Though a stranger, he quickly proposes,

He’s French; what’s to check?

So she says, what the heck?

She needs loving, so why oppose his.

 

By an obvious rule that’s unwritten,

One will do anything when she’s smitten.

When Greg says he would care

For a house in a square,

They choose Paula’s aunt’s home in Great Britain.

 

They lock her aunt’s things all upstairs,

So that she won’t be subject to scares

From that night long ago,

But it seems, even so,

Paula’s edgy, yet nobody cares.

 

She’s forgetful, which Greg’s quick to mention,

So often it raises her tension.

Her own husband claims

That she steals picture frames,

And his charges cause her apprehension.

 

At night, while her husband is out,

She hears somebody walking about

Upstairs; the lights fade,

And it isn’t the maid,

So her sanity now is in doubt.

 

She feels like her house is a trap.

Greg thinks that she’s ready to snap.

Paula isn’t consoled,

For Greg’s callous and cold,

And he only makes her feel like crap.

 

But one Brian, who’s from Scotland Yard,

Takes notice that Greg acts so hard.

His investigation

Leads to accusation,

And Brian becomes Paula’s guard.

 

He proves that she still has her brain

And that Greg is the cause of her strain.

His rebukes and his claims

Were a bunch of mind games,

In the hopes he would drive her insane.

 

Their marriage was only a tool,

All his tactics and being so cruel.

When the lights seemed to dim,

It was really just him,

In the attic in search of a jewel.

 

For Gregory is Sergis Bauer,

Who killed Paula’s aunt with his power.

He wanted her gems,

But he couldn’t find them

So has searched for them many an hour.

 

That night, though, he meets with success.

They were hidden, sewn onto a dress.

But he’s caught by police,

And his wife finds release

Now that he cannot cause her distress.

___________________

 

Gaslight is an old black-and-white film that earned seven Oscar nominations when it was released in 1944, winning two. A remake of a much lesser-known 1940 British movie, it is clearly based off a play with nearly every character converging at the very end. Like 12 Angry Men, most of the action happens in limited spaces, mainly a few lovely Victorian rooms, with only a couple outside scenes added to relieve the claustrophobia. In some ways, Gaslight angers me much like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington did, because Gregory gets away with his constant manipulation of his wife throughout most of the film. It isn’t until the final act that his deception is fully revealed, but, unlike the sudden happy ending of Mr. Smith, Paula is able to get back at her evil husband with some mind games of her own, creating a satisfying serves-you-right kind of ending.

Ingrid Bergman is excellent as her character’s sanity is slowly chipped away, and she definitely deserved her Oscar win. Charles Boyer is sinister, but his malevolence is a bit too obvious due to his mannerisms and coldness. Also, while the film features Angela Lansbury in her first role, I must say that her presence throughout adds little to the film and seemed unnecessary overall. Despite some flaws, such as Joseph Cotton’s lacking a British accent and a laughable scene in which the cameraman is clearly seen reflected in a window, Gaslight is nonetheless a classic mystery.

Best line: (Paula, when she taunts Gregory at the end) “How can a mad woman help her husband to escape?”

 

Artistry: 7

Characters/Actors: 7

Entertainment: 4

Visual Effects: N/A

Originality: 6

Watchability: 4

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #338: Summer Wars

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

#340: Flightplan (2005)

Tags

Thriller

Kyle Pratt is a widow, disturbed and aloof.

Poor David, her husband, just fell off a roof.

Just leaving her job as an airplane designer,

She’s bringing his body home on an airliner,

Along with young Julia, her six-year-old daughter.

When Julia strolls off, Kyle’s able to spot her,

But now she’s on edge from the worry and strain.

Both Julia and Kyle are the first on the plane.

 

Miss Pratt falls asleep with her daughter nearby,

But when she wakes up, flying high in the sky,

Her Julia is gone so she searches around,

But, alas, her young girl is nowhere to be found!

She starts getting frantic, as would any mom,

So Gene Carson, air marshal, makes her keep calm.

There’s no sign that Julia was ever on board,

Nobody remembers her; Miss Pratt is floored.

 

They say Julia died with her father as well,

That he took her with him when he somehow “fell.”

Kyle’s panicked conduct and the loss that she’s had

Make the crew and the passengers think she’s gone mad.

Miss Pratt starts to doubt her own sanity too,

But evidence shows her story is true.

She takes drastic action to search the ship’s hold,

But she’s caught, and it’s clear she cannot be controlled.

 

They soon land, but Carson persuades Captain Rich

That Miss Pratt’s a bomber with hand on the switch.

He says she wants money, which Rich wires in.

Thus Carson’s the bad guy and always had been.

He kidnapped poor Julia amid all those folks

And a stewardess helped him to pull off the hoax.

When the whole plane is emptied, they play cat and mouse,

And Carson admits that he killed Kyle’s spouse.

 

Miss Pratt knows the plane, all the rooms, electronics,

And at last locates Julia, drugged, in Avionics.

She hides in a hatch, having gotten the trigger,

And blows Carson up (the blast could have been bigger).

With Julia again, she has proof that she’s sane

And innocent too, though she did wreck the plane.

Thus, Julia and Kyle will no longer fly:

They now prefer driving instead (wonder why).

___________________

 

Flightplan, while not Jodie Foster’s most successful movie, has a great performance from her as a grieving mother who questions her own sanity. As the director stated was his intention, the movie starts slow and gets increasingly intense as Kyle’s panic rises and the villain is revealed. The initial secrecy surrounding the villain is also done quite well with several people potentially in on it, from seemingly unsympathetic stewardesses to Arab passengers all being suspected and eventually vindicated. Peter Sarsgaard is also cool and calculating as Carson, whose apparent nonchalance at first evolves into devious cunning.

I will admit that, though all the elements of Carson’s ingenious plot are basically explained, it seems that he went through quite a lot of trouble to pull off his scheme. I can’t help but think there was an easier way than killing a man, hiding a bomb in his coffin, stealing a little girl, framing an anxious mother as a terrorist, and somehow getting away with the $50 million. Also, there was some profanity, though significantly less than that other Jodie Foster movie Panic Room.

Overall, Flightplan is a taut thriller that embodies that primal fear of losing one’s child and indicts the selfish tunnel vision that the passengers displayed in not noticing Julia.

Best line: (a kid to her parent, after Julia is found) “I told you there was a little girl.”

 

Artistry: 5

Characters/Actors: 6

Entertainment: 6

Visual Effects: 4

Originality: 5

Watchability: 5

Other (language): -3

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #339: Gaslight (another movie with a woman doubting her sanity)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

Tags

Animation, Dreamworks

Susan assumes that her future is bright.

Her wedding tomorrow can’t help but excite.

Her Derek, a weatherman, is a delight,

And they’re going to Paris, the City of Light.

But then her friends scare her midway through the night,

And then Derek proves that he’s not such a knight.

She’s eager for Paris, but Derek says, “No,”

He would much rather go for a job in Fresno.

 

But Susan supports him, not wanting to fight.

Despite that, the day is still going all right.

But then she gets crushed by a meteorite,

And then Susan glows and grows to a great height,

And then she gives everyone quite a bad fright

And then several SWAT teams have her in their sight.

The government drops her and takes her away,

Effectively ruining her wedding day.

 

She wakes up in some secret government base,

And meets several monsters, confined in disgrace.

The strange Missing Link, who assumes he’s an ace,

A mad scientist with a cockroach’s face,

A blob and a giant have lived in this place

For years, for they frighten the whole human race.

A General Monger explains to poor Sue

She’s a monster and now she must stay out of view.

 

A tentacled alien named Gallaxhar

Detects some Quantonium close to our star.

He sends out a robot to Earth (since it’s far),

Which freaks out the world, from Brazil to Qatar.

But Monger puts forth a suggestion bizarre:

Let monsters fight E.T. and beat out its tar.

So all of the monsters are quickly sent in,

And, main thanks to Susan, they do somehow win.

 

Now having been freed, Susan locates the man

Who loves her, but Derek’s no longer a fan.

Her growing so large was not part of his plan,

So the wedding and all he is now quick to can.

Soon Susan realizes she’s done much more than

She ever would have with Derek’s whole “plan.”

But then Gallaxhar abducts Susan (the cur!).

He wants the Quantonium, which is in her.

 

She’s drained till she’s small, like before she had grown.

Gallaxhar can now mass-produce many a clone

To conquer the earth and to make it his own.

The three smaller monsters, however, are flown

To his ship, and, to clones, all of them are unknown.

So they blend in and rescue poor Susan, who’s prone

To just getting pummeled by energized stone.

Again, height and strength the Quantonium lends,

But, this time, she wants it to rescue her friends.

 

The spaceship explodes with a wonderful blast,

And the monsters are welcomed as heroes at last.

Now Derek hopes Sue won’t remember the past

And will grant him an interview, but not so fast:

His wheedling ways she has gladly surpassed;

She prefers her new life, though it’s such a contrast.

When Paris needs saving, they all fly away,

For monsters have proved they can now save the day.

___________________

 

Monsters vs. Aliens is straight-up parody, lampooning science fiction and B-movies from the 1950s and beyond. With an outlandish plot and silly characters, it’s a film meant for moviegoers with a sense of humor. It sends up everything from Starman to The Fly to the Godzilla movies and probably several films I’ve never even seen. Despite the multitude of spoofs piling up so quickly, Monsters vs. Aliens nevertheless manages to create a decent plot with any holes safely patched with another joke.

Unfortunately, it also falls into the same trend as television cartoons like The Simpsons and The Fairly OddParents, which paint nearly every character as a jerk or an idiot. Except for Susan, almost everyone, particularly men (from the President on down), are sissies, dimwits, or pinheads who are generally unsympathetic. I know that herein lies much of the humor, but it’s a trap that other comedies often avoid.

Still, it’s definitely funny, from spoofing the constant screaming in B-movies to playing the theme to Beverly Hills Cop for the alien probe, a la Close Encounters. Also, unlike Megamind, which had few memorable scenes, several action set pieces stand out, such as the destruction of the Golden Gate Bridge and the explosion of Gallaxhar’s ship. Though the character development is lacking (compared with other Dreamworks films like Megamind), the humor shines and earns Monsters vs. Aliens a place on my list.

Best line: (General W. R. Monger, speaking of Area 51) “This place is an X-file, wrapped in a cover-up and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.”

 

Artistry: 2

Characters/Actors: 3

Entertainment: 7

Visual Effects: 6

Originality: 5

Watchability: 5

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #340: Flightplan

© 2014 S. G. Liput

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Tags

Action, Superhero

Down in South America,

The new Bruce Banner stays.

The Hulk, a monster spawned by rage

And errant gamma rays,

He’s kept contained by staying calm

For over a hundred days.

 

He seeks a cure as Mr. Green

And chats with Mr. Blue,

An online pal who gives advice

On what he ought to do.

Bruce keeps his cool, until he bleeds

And bad events ensue.

 

Military adversaries,

Led by General Ross,

Are sent to apprehend poor Bruce,

But they are at a loss

When he transforms into the Hulk

And starts to grab and toss.

 

Though Bruce escapes and journeys north,

An Emil Blonsky eyed

The power of the mighty Hulk

That was concealed inside.

He wants that power for himself,

Which Ross tries to provide.

 

Bruce heads to where his girlfriend is,

A university,

And when he gets back to the states

He’s sorrowful to see

That Betty’s found another man,

Who knows psychiatry.

 

When Betty sees her Bruce, however,

She loves him once again.

Then Bruce becomes the Hulk once more

When trapped by Ross’s men.

He saves her life and takes her off

To find a rocky den.

 

When Hulk is gone and Bruce returns,

His lover aids his quest

To find a cure, and goes with him

To Mr. Blue’s address.

There Mr. Blue tries curing Bruce

And meets with some success.

 

But when Bruce sees that Mr. Blue

Desires Bruce’s power

For science, as Ross wants a weapon,

Things begin to sour.

Then Bruce is tranquilized and Blonsky

Comes to have his hour.

 

Blonsky forces Mr. Blue

To give him more mutation,

And, with the serum Ross infused,

Becomes an Abomination.

He then wreaks havoc in New York

And wants a confrontation.

 

By jumping out a plane, Bruce turns

Into the Hulk once more.

They beat each other to a pulp,

But Hulk wins with a roar.

Bruce then secludes himself again

To wait for Cap and Thor.

_________________

 

The Incredible Hulk is a reinvention, not a sequel, of Ang Lee’s 2003 version of the Marvel character Hulk. While the original film had some good points, this version is much more action-packed and makes more sense overall. With references to the comics and the old Hulk television show with Bill Bixby, The Incredible Hulk is certainly exciting, but less memorable than other Marvel movies.

The Hulk is the least interesting of the Avengers, in my opinion, whether because he talks the least or because his focus of brawn over brain does not appeal as much as other smarter heroes. The constant explosions get old after a while, especially in the big finale, and the scenes of Bruce being hunted, though thrilling, are reminiscent of the Bourne movies. Plus, the Hulk is obviously CGI throughout.

Still, it is the best Hulk movie out there so far. During this latest viewing, I noticed that Bruce Banner hardly talks at all in the first 40 minutes or so, instead conveying the plot through actions, typing, and mere looks (and turning into a giant green rage monster). This says something about Edward Norton’s skill as an actor, and, his laconic performance stands in “stark” contrast to Robert Downey, Jr.’s fast-talking charisma in Iron Man. Though I’m a fan of Mark Ruffalo’s taking over the character in The Avengers, it’s a shame that Norton didn’t get to play Banner again.

Best line: (Betty) “The subway is probably quickest.”  (Bruce) “Me in a metal tube, deep underground with hundreds of people in the most aggressive city in the world.”  (Betty) “Right. Let’s get a cab.” (which isn’t much better)

 

Artistry: 5

Characters/Actors: 6

Entertainment: 5

Visual Effects: 5

Originality: 3

Watchability: 4

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #341: Monsters vs. Aliens

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

Tags

Comedy, Drama

Lars is a quiet and self-conscious guy,

An unsocial introvert, painfully shy.

He stays with his brother and sister-in-law,

But lives in the garage, where he’s quick to withdraw.

At work, he shows up but seems always distracted,

Ignoring a girl who (somehow) is attracted.

His brother Gus thinks Lars prefers loneliness,

But his wife Karen worries he’s mad or depressed.

 

Then one day, Lars shows up on Gus’s doorstep,

Displaying (for Lars) an unusual pep.

He says that a girl that he first met online

Is there from Brazil for the very first time.

She doesn’t speak English and needs a wheelchair,

But since Lars is so pleased, Gus and Karen don’t care.

It’s the first time that Lars has (at will) come to call.

They’re thrilled . . . till they see she’s a life-size sex doll.

 

They’re speechless and don’t know just how they should feel,

For Lars seems so earnest in thinking she’s real.

They take this Bianca with Lars, through a ruse,

To a doctor named Dagmar, and hope for good news.

Gus and Karen don’t care for the doctor’s conclusion:

She says they should play along with his delusion.

They spread the word quickly throughout the small town,

Who agree they will humor Lars when he’s around.

 

Bianca is met with both worry and shock,

But the town supports Lars, once they’ve had time to gawk.

He talks to her, walks with her, takes her on dates,

And tells everyone of her laudable traits.

But visits with Dagmar reveal Lars’s fears

Of death and of contact he’s cooped up for years.

As folks treat Bianca as if she were living,

They distance Lars from her, but Lars has misgivings.

 

His light-hearted ignorance starts then to dim,

When his childish delusion’s not centered on him.

He starts to grow close to one Margo at work,

But Bianca’s a burden he cannot yet shirk.

It’s not till she’s dying, at least in his mind,

That he finally leaves his Bianca behind.

The town that so loved Lars mourns too for his girl,

But perhaps now he’s ready to face the real world.

____________________________

 

Lars and the Real Girl is a dramedy, a comedy that’s dramatic and a drama that’s funny. It’s a quirky movie that is gentle and caring in its humor, just like the townspeople that help Lars grow out of his delusion. With the sex doll and an obvious mental illness, the plot could have so easily become disgusting and insulting, but instead it showcases some fine acting and an excellent script. Ryan Gosling is amazingly believable as Lars and plays off Bianca the doll quite convincingly. Paul Schneider as Gus and Emily Mortimer as Karen also shine, and, by the end of the movie, I could honestly say that I liked all of these characters. Though the script is full of awkward silences and hesitant answers, which make the movie feel slow overall, the dialogue seems very realistic, as if capturing real conversations. My VC thought it was rather weird and slow, but she at least appreciated it.

While the entire town is unrealistically supportive, from electing Bianca to the school board to sending an ambulance for her, their concern for Lars is admittedly sweet, though it’s unclear what he’s done to warrant such love and attention from them. I liked that Lars never used the doll sexually and respected it as he would a real woman. I also appreciate the presence of a kind and unmocked church that helps Lars and (partially) puts forth the great message of the movie: 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Not many films apply morals from the Bible anymore.

While Lars and the Real Girl is not as funny or as dramatic as other films, it successfully makes the audience care for the characters while enjoying a few laughs along the way.

Best line: (Gus, when Lars asks him about being a man) “You grow up when you decide to do right. Okay, and not what’s right for you, but what’s right for everybody, even when it hurts.”

 

Artistry: 6

Characters/Actors: 7

Entertainment: 4

Visual Effects: N/A

Originality: 7

Watchability: 4

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #342 – The Incredible Hulk

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Working Girl (1988)

Tags

Comedy, Romance

Tess McGill’s a secretary, bottom of the corporate ladder.

As she tries and fails to climb it, she gets more upset and sadder.

Sick of jobs where sleazy bosses chase her round the desk all day,

She gets a job with Katharine Parker, whom she’s happy to obey.

 

For Katharine’s nice and treats Tess well, encouraging her secretary,

Tess is so relieved to have a boss who doesn’t seem contrary.

Bringing Katharine her idea about a radio acquisition,

Tess is sure she has no reason to have any bad suspicion.

 

Then, while skiing, Katharine’s injured; she’ll be out a couple weeks.

So Tess, with Katharine’s voice recorded, practices her voice techniques,

Until she hears, from Katharine’s mouth, that Katharine stole her radio plan,

And, back at home, Tess finds another woman sleeping with her man.

 

Choosing then to take control of where her life and job are going,

Tess decides to act like Katharine’s colleague, with nobody knowing.

Using Katharine’s clothes and office, Tess avails her expertise

To pitch the thought of radio as perfect for Trask Industries.

 

She needs somebody else to help: Jack Trainer, who’s behind her plan,

Which gets Trask into media and stops a seizure from Japan.

Jack also brought Tess home one night when she had had too much to drink,

But still they work together better than that start might have one think.

 

Flattery and wedding crashing get them where they want to be,

And then – surprise! – they fall in love. But who could possibly foresee

That Katharine had been dating Jack, who says he’d rather be with Tess?

But when Miss Parker comes back home, she snatches Tess’s great success.

 

The truth is known, and Katharine (with her crutches) gets the sympathy,

But Jack decides that he believes Tess, though the others disagree.

Yet when Trask attempts to ask how each of them derived the plan,

Kate draws a blank but Tess can say, convincing them that she’s their man.

 

In the end, Tess goes to work for Trask, who’s thoroughly impressed.

Dating Jack, her love life too has also been immensely blessed.

Though, at first, she thinks she’s back to cubicles and making do,

Soon she sees that she has power and an office with a view.

_____________________________

 

Working Girl is a Cinderella story set against the backdrop of the New York banking industry, but this time the damsel transforms her own life without any magical assistance. The acting and the story are outstanding, particularly the performances of Melanie Griffith as Tess, Harrison Ford as Jack, and Sigourney Weaver as Katharine. (Despite the star power and several Oscar nominations, the film only won for best song, and Ford was snubbed entirely.) The characters have humor and charm to spare, and, even with the girl power message, I, as a guy, still enjoyed it. My VC, as a chick, loved it.

I will say that the director and writer included some completely unnecessary adult content, such as language and two scenes of nudity, that detracted from the film overall and was probably thrown in there just to get the Oscar-worthy R rating. Plus, as I mentioned in my previous review for Entrapment, the story has the two leads inevitably and unimaginatively sleep together.

The best part of the whole film, in my opinion, is the Oscar-winning song “Let the River Run,” which plays at the beginning and end and definitely deserves a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. It’s incredibly lovely and inspiring, though one can’t help but sigh when the Twin Towers are shown so prominently in the opening. (The lobby scenes were even shot in the World Trade Center.) Though it could have been cleaner and the financial jargon flew way over my head, Working Girl is nevertheless a fun and very entertaining romantic comedy.

Best line: (Jack, after Tess has completely passed out from Valium and alcohol) “Would you like a nightcap?”

VC’s best line: (guy) “She took a muscle relaxant for the flight down.”  (Katharine, giddily) “Oh, let’s all have one, shall we?”

 

Artistry: 6

Characters/Actors: 8

Entertainment: 7

Visual Effects: N/A (unless you count those huge ‘80s hairdos)

Originality: 6

Watchability: 7

Other (language and nudity): -7

Other (great song): 1

 

TOTAL: 28 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #343 – Lars and the Real Girl

© 2014 S. G. Liput